


Submersion

by OrcaAsesina



Category: No Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:35:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22044190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrcaAsesina/pseuds/OrcaAsesina
Summary: Personal Poem written after a break up from a 3 year relationship. Please feel free to leave comments or tag ideas. Thank you.





	Submersion

**Author's Note:**

> Personal Poem written after a break up from a 3 year relationship. Please feel free to leave comments or tag ideas. Thank you.

If you had asked me, I would have burned the world to ash.  
I would have given you the universe as your crown.  
I would have cried all my tears until I was a shriveled husk if it meant a split second of your happiness.

We danced in the pale moon light you and I. We let our bodies touch and our shadows merge. We allowed ourselves to bare it all.

Well. At least I did.

I gave you the parts of me I was scared of.  
The parts of me that I tried to hide.  
The parts of me that I paraded as beautiful because I was so ashamed of their ugliness.  
I gave you all I had because you were my happy ever after.  
You were it for me.  
My infinity. 

And now I feel the clutches of the end near.  
The infinity is becoming finite.  
I am scraping and grasping for all I have left and there is… there is…

Silence.

My throat is swelled.  
I cannot breathe for you were my oxygen.  
This connection, this stardust so deep that for me to live, I had to die.

I would have laid all at your feet. I would have dressed you in the wonders of you, the parts of you that were so beautiful, so intricate, so worth it that the whole cosmos had to stop, had to question its own self and say, 

“Damn. Even God couldn’t make that.” 

You would have been the Omega because what would be after you? What could be after you?

I stare at this wall, this blank page. And all I remember is a letter to myself:

They safe life is great. I say it’s hell in disguise.  
What I once thought was amazing, was nothing but cruel reality.

13 years later and I’m still learning this lesson. I’m still here, in the same grade stuck in the same ways, the teachers change but the message stays the same.  
You outplayed your hand little girl.  
You thought you could save someone who didn’t want to be saved.  
You thought you could make a difference in the life of someone you believe is worth saving.  
Now am I talking about you, my Omega, or am I talking about me? 

My demons are playing now. They like to have fun once in a while. They like to put the rose colored glasses on something that’s got nothing but red flags, heartache, and sin.

They say the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.

And baby, I was your vampire. 

I drank from you, long and deep until your poison became as natural to me as my demons are.That numb, that burn, that desire to consume from the smallest things.

When your light dimmed out, when your world crashed, you forgot I was in it.  
You forgot I was that comet shooting for you, lighting your sky when your Moon could no longer rise, and when your Sun had burned down to the last wick.  
I was your day and night and your stars and your clouds and I painted it all for you.  
A painting that is now blacked out and forgotten in the lost hollows of once was, where kindred spirits use to lay.  
Here, you mourned.  
And in mourning you lost yourself.  
And in losing yourself, you turned your back on your comet.  
And in turning your back on your comet, you cursed at the darkness for how dare what little left of the light you dashed leave you?  
How dare your fraying life line die out to leave you broken and scarred?  
How dare your Queen become captured by the pawns of your mind as she protected you?  
How dare the life you know changed without telling you because you were dressed like a God, and you were told you were one by the very comet you turned your back on?  
Oh I would have given you everything, darling.

Every wish.  
Every desire.  
Every demand.  
Every little thing.

Except I couldn’t give you what you wanted the most. 

And because I couldn’t bring her Star back from the ashes, nothing I did mattered.

So as I lay among the deserted nebula,  
As I float in the purgatory of the heavens,  
As I drift from the memories of what were and all the gifts I had for you from my stardust,  
Know that I would have…  
No…  
That I have done what all I could do for you,  
My King…  
My Soul…  
My Omega. 

So back to the depths of Orcinus I go.  
Back to my deep dark dwelling place of satin and familiar broken promises.  
Back to where I find comfort in my old demons and in my nothing.  
It’s safer here in this world of emptiness than in your world of it all.


End file.
